


Companions and Eventualities 1 -- Comfort

by Viola_Laterra



Series: Companions and Eventualities [1]
Category: Enderal (Video Game)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, During Canon, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene, Other, Spoilers for A Song in the Silence, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24992266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola_Laterra/pseuds/Viola_Laterra
Summary: The Prophet muses about how Jespar has come to mean so much in such a short time.  And when a black stone from a small boy comes at a high cost, Jespar's comfort, even when offered in typical Jespar fashion, means more than one might think.
Relationships: Jespar Dal'Varek & Prophet | Prophetess, Jespar Dal'Varek/Prophet | Prophetess
Series: Companions and Eventualities [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809244
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Companions and Eventualities 1 -- Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> A Song in the Silence really hit me hard. Well-done storytelling, SureAI.

The first time I saw Jespar, it was not long after my rather traumatic arrival on Enderal. What is there to say about him? He seemed kind enough, eminently down-to-earth. I was reeling from seeing the vision of the Apothecarii killed, only the second time I'd had such a vision, after the bizarre period following my initial arrival on the Sun Coast... then witnessing their actual destruction, never mind the physical effects of the blast... Jespar was calming, steadying, even then. And maybe even then it wasn't lost on me how easy he was on the eyes.

But I was experiencing the sea of eventualities for the first time, too... it was all definitely a drain on me. Jespar was the only familiar thing, as we went on to Riverville, completed his contracted tasks, and then back to Ark. Ark would have overwhelmed me in my arcane-fevered state, I think, if he hadn't brought me straight to Constantine. If I'd found my way there on my own... who knows. I would probably have ended up in the Undercity somewhere. Maybe eventually I'd've gotten some help. But Jespar was efficient about getting me where I needed to go. So maybe it was some gratitude for that help that led me to feel wistful when he said he was off to do some other job. I found myself hoping our paths would cross again.

And when they did cross again... well. I was certainly feeling better than I had initially. I was newly (and surprisingly) a member of the Order, and my arcane fever was under control. I was getting the hang of both the use of magic and also these strange intermittent visions. I was apparently central to a plan to save the world. So maybe it was then that, with a little peaceweed and wine, it was easy to slip in a few flirtatious comments and see if this eminently affable and attractive man would reciprocate. That he said he was attracted to me but also that he didn't want to do anything about it... well, at the time it confused the hell out of me. He seemed like the kind of person who would take that sort of thing where it, ah, arose.

But, no matter. I liked him well enough at that point; I found his perspectives a little pessimistic, but, well, with all that was going on in the world and in Enderal, maybe that wasn't so surprising. And he was unusually even-keeled about it all... I generally found it interesting to hear what he thought about current events. At any rate, I was only a little disappointed that he hadn't gone for the invitation I'd extended. I've never been one to be so obsessed with sex to be too upset for too long at a rejection, especially one as gentle (if cryptic) as Jespar's.

So I just let that familiarity grow, over time. He eventually told me more about himself, about past relationships (though he was clearly leaving something out), about his family, about his philosophy of just taking each day as it came, just looking out for himself -- though I noted that he seemed to tend more and more towards actions that belied that self-serving perspective. He continued to be an exceedingly able companion: knowledgable, good in a fight, clever in thinking through strategy and puzzles and the like. I took the odd opportunity to flirt with him, and he gave as good as he got, and that was pleasant enough. He seemed to enjoy that as much as I did... But he never really took the bait. Always, if I pushed too hard, he carefully deflected me. And always something else seemed to be going on. But I just let him be.

That said... I had found, as the conditions in Vyn in general and Enderal in particular worsened, that I started to feel that my relationships with those I counted on most were more and more important. So maybe that was why, as I sat at the usual table in the Dancing Nomad, morose and detached, unable even to finish the drink I'd ordered... when Jespar walked in, I felt a bit of peace creep into the haze of sorrow I was beset with.

When he spotted me, and gave me a little half-nod of recognition, that little connection felt like a lifeline thrown to a drowning person. And of course... I had been drowning, once. That felt like a lifetime ago, before I'd arrived on these shores.

At any rate, Jespar went to the inkeep and got himself a mug of something, and came and sat opposite me. His slightly mischievous smile faded, though, as he took me in.

"What's wrong?" he said, simply.

I sighed. I raised my mug, took a swallow of whatever it was I had ordered. Felt the burn of alcohol trail down my throat, focused on that sensation for a moment. Jespar waited for me.

I put the mug back down and said the only thing that felt safe. "I got the stone. The one that belonged to Dal'Geyess."

Jespar nodded slowly. "And... it was dearly bought, I take it?" I nodded.

Jespar sighed. He took a deep drink, wiped his mouth, and then with what looked like a slight wince of trepidation, said, "Want to talk about it?"

I gave a humorless grunt of a laugh. "Not sure." I was still staring down into my drink, but out of the corner of my eye, I caught him nod once, emphatically, as if to himself. He wasn't one to reach out like that, actually, I thought to myself. Happy to answer personal questions I asked him about himself, sure, but... usually he didn't ask me if I wanted to talk about the various horrors we had both been through, together or separately, in the time I'd been in Enderal.

I suddenly wanted very much to talk to him about it. I picked up my mug and finished the rest of the drink in one long string of swallows. Jespar seemed a little taken aback, but was unsurprised when I said, "Actually, yes. But not... here." The idea of unburdening myself in the noisy tavern did not appeal.

Jespar half-smiled, shrugged, downed his mostly-full drink, and nodded. As I stood and walked out, he followed me.

Out in the cool night air of Ark's foreign quarter, I wasn't quite sure where to go next. Jespar picked up on my hesitation and said, "Here, I know a quiet place." He led the way around several corners of different buildings, and finally to a little garden I'd never noticed before. "Unlikely to be interrupted, here," he offered.

I smiled at him, gratitude just for a moment chasing away the sadness I was here to tell him about.

I sat on a bench and he casually leaned himself against a nearby trellis. I put my head in my hands, trying to decide where to start.

Finally, I rubbed my hands over my face and said, almost muttering, "He was just a child." Then couldn't figure out where to go from there.

Jespar sighed. He said, "For all the terrible things I've seen and done, I will admit that even for me... tragedy involving children can be the hardest to take."

I nodded. I went on, "Dal'Geyess is the asshole you'd expect him to be. Typical Sublime, thinks he's above everyone... why is that so common here?" I spat bitterly off to the side. Then remembered that Jespar had that same prefix to his name. "Sorry," I added.

He laughed, just as bitterly. "I may only be one of two remaining Dal'Vareks, but don't think I care for a second about the nobles here. Rotten, pretty much every last one of them." Right, I thought. Of course that was how he felt. He'd made that clear enough, telling me about how all but he and his sister had been killed due to his father's ideals of justice and responsibility and their incompatibility with the politics of Ark -- and how that was where his own attitude to take life one day at a time had begun, in opposition to his father's. Well, still, worth remembering what he'd shared with me.

At length, I said, "He had a child. A son. But he was born with... deformities." I had steeled myself, when I had asked Rynéus to leave his dream world, for what he would look like without the illusion. But what was worse than the physical abnormalities was how much pain they clearly caused him... I took a deep breath, choking back a sob.

Jespar looked a little uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, and waited. I finally got a grip on myself -- harder now than it would have been, if I hadn't downed my drink all at once like that, I thought. I had the stray thought that somehow Jespar was able to finish his drink in one go, and he didn't seem all that impaired... he had some capacity, I thought.

Eventually, I went on: "Dal'Geyess abandoned the child, and his mother secretly sent the stone away with him. I... I found the child in Silvergrove." Jespar said, "I've never been, though I suppose I've heard the name before."

I nodded. "The stone had..." How did I say this? "It had... first turned the townspeople against him, which wasn't hard, given his appearance, but then... it..." I paused. Jespar waited a moment, and then said, surprisingly gently, "Go on."

"It had... created an illusion around him, of a town that accepted him, and an illusion of himself as healthy and happy."

Jespar's eyebrows went up. "That... doesn't sound like an evil thing at all?"

I shook my head, tears threatening. A few escaped my control as I said, "The townspeople were... controlled by it. By the stone, by the illusion. It's... it's hard to explain. But anyone who went there, the stone made them see the reality the child wanted. Made them be what Rynéus wanted them to be."

Jespar still looked uncertain. "That's not great, but..."

I broke in, swallowing a few tears as I went, "No, don't you see... they were in thrall to it. They didn't eat, they didn't sleep... They just behaved according to what Rynéus wanted. And when he realized this, he tried to end it, but the stone... the, the High Ones... they told him that everyone would die the second the illusion was broken."

"Ah," Jespar said. And now I really did let tears trickle down my face, the drink blunting what would have been my embarrassment for showing this to him. He said softly, "So... the townspeople are dead. And the child? He didn't make it?"

I shook my head, drew in a shuddering breath, and said, "No. The stone had been keeping him alive. I don't know if the High Ones simply ended him, or his deformities were too severe and their full reality was enough to do it."

Jespar let out a long, slow breath. My tears slowed, and I wiped them away with the back of a gauntleted wrist. Then Jespar did something that surprised me: he came close, and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, and he seemed torn, as if this wasn't something he really wanted to be doing, but he knew he needed to.

He said, voice still soft, "You know how I feel about this world. Things like this... they are happening all the time. I'm not sure I can really believe that Arantheal can put a stop to it, that... that anything we do would make a difference." I felt the truth of that in the pit of my stomach, and took a slow, shuddering breath. I nodded, looking up at him.

Jespar sighed and said, "But that doesn't make it any easier to have to do what you did. For what it's worth, I'm sorry." He squeezed my shoulder, and stepped away. Then he said, in a more typical tone of voice, "Now, come on, let's get you to a bed before you pass out. I know you don't usually drink like that."

I nodded, and let him lead the way back to the Dancing Nomad. I thought about the fact that this was the only time he'd touched me for any reason other than functional need during a strategic operation. I thought about his hesitation to fall into bed with me. I wondered if maybe he had more complicated feelings about me, after all, and that's where the hesitation had been coming from, all this time. From... from the very beginning? But now my brain was fuzzy with drink, and physical and emotional exhaustion.

Jespar got me back into the Dancing Nomad, and said to the inkeep, "Ulfur -- my friend's had a long day. You have a room open?" The man nodded and said, "Sure, pretty boy." Jespar sounded exasperated as he said to me, "This one's on me." He handed over some pennies to Featherdance, and then gave me a gentle shove towards the stairs. "Go to bed. Sleep it off, alright? We'll talk more tomorrow."

I nodded numbly, and managed to find my way upstairs and into the bed. I slept with all my gear on, I was so suddenly tired. But as I drifted off, I felt a definite feeling of warmth somewhere deep in my spirit for the support Jespar had offered, clearly at his own emotional cost. Who knew what was up with him when it came to me, but he was a solid companion who I was finding myself relying on more and more. It didn't quite make up for the soul-sick feeling of seeing all the dead townsfolk, especially Rynéus' adoptive father's body, which had withered away and left the scatter of knives that the others had used to kill him bright silver against the boy's bedroom floor... it didn't quite make up for the wrenching sadness of watching Rynéus himself expire... but... it was something. And the way the world was, that something made more of a difference than one would think.


End file.
